The first time I decided it was what I wanted, how I wanted, and if it was all worth it. Growing up around all my life and not even knowing if it’s who I wanted to be. I didn’t know if I should live life in a way where I would stressed and judged by the people around me, not all but some. The people that care, support, and hope for the best from me. I chose to be the way I am. I happy, ecstatic, scared, and frightened about what comes next after it’s all over.
It wasn’t all easy I went through a phase where I was nervous, excited, worried. I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. I couldn’t believe how it made me feel and how much it has affected me. But it affected me for the better, not the worse. I went through the phase of is this the one and am I ready for everything that is about to happen.
Every day I am going back forth and taking all these different steps to make sure I don’t mess this up. Making sure that I don’t lose what I care about and what I’ve always wanted. The fighting, arguing, ignoring. It’s all a part of love. Right? I’ve been jumpy trying to figure why I can’t get it right or why I can’t make her happy. There’s always the easy way out right, just break up. But for some reason I feel the need to fight and to keep pushing til its right.
I don’t know how to make you trust me or know I’m not going anywhere. I’m here and sometimes I feel you don’t see it. We are all messed up in some way or another. I am with you no matter what, I just wish you could give me the chance to love you.
I am down for the fight, the walls, the people, and for everything else that may come our way. But I asked you to be mine for a reason. It’s because you give me everything I need and want. And that’s all I could ever ask for…